it tastes like un-flavored tea...

you know whats fun??? my little lee lee.... i would have posted this in the community, but i forgot how to do that... lame i know.

so i am now 21. you should all be jealous.

how could i know... that everything you say are lies....
yeah yeah. you know it. this has been a really really hard week, well couple weeks. and its putting me back where i was. and thats not good. i was doing really well about getting over it. and now its all back where it was again. and thats worse for me know. ellen is moving, kaylee isn't coming back. doug is visiting. and matthew is moving in. christ alimighty what the hell am i doing? i dont know...
someone kill me please.

Why is it that when I think that you are actually doing what you say, and I dont know. Maybe you are. It just sucks. P.S. I miss you

long long time ago... so alisha is going to this halloween party tonight, which I have decided against attending seeing as its outside in scotts mills... but anyhow, we have spent the day shopping and hanging out which has been fun seeing as i NEVER see her. but yeah, so now i am helping her get ready. thats fun. I like doing that.
and ellen came down last night which was also awesome. we tried to dye her hair which didnt turn out quite like she wanted, but it was still awesome that she came down. and we got to talk about alot of fun girly things, which was good. i dont like doing that with alot of people, but ellen actually gets it. and thats awesome. she wasn't going to stay the night, but by the time we got done with her hair it was midnight, and she still had to finish her laundry... so she stayed the night.

i got a super cute purse from Ross today, which was fun. cuz i need more purses and all... Lol.
and I got to sit in alisha's hot tub which was GREAT, i have been wanting a hot tub for so long. i got invited from garrett to go play poker with him and ed. lol i also declined that offer. good kid though. and ed cracks me up.
so now im tired and my head hurts, and in the past two days i have probably taken about 40 ibuprofun. not healthy...

anyhow. gotta go help alisha now.

la la la la life goes on.

It's really irritating that this keeps happening to me. its like seriously, FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THIS TO.
fuck.
so when you are prescribed medicine, here is a clue " TAKE IT" because; who would have thought, it can effect your mood. sometimes doctor's do know what they are talking about.
I just spent 40 min on the phone with Dougle's. It was really awesome to talk to him, but sad at the same time. It's wierd. We were really good friends, like sure there was that tiny crush i had on him, but I could talk to him about pretty much anything. And I had so much fun hanging out with him. He is a really amazing person. And I was gone when he came to visit, which don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have missed coming back with Ellen for the world, but it sucked alot to miss him. And everyone else got to see him and that also really sucked. It seems like just that little event changed so much. And now I am the last one to know everything, and I am the one who doesn't get called. And that hurts. When I try to say anything about it, I am the one being melo-dramatic. Last time I checked people were aloud to have their own feelings, and I had this funny idea that people who are friends are supposed to share those feelings. God what do i know... But then again, what do alcoholic's know? Maybe I am completly off my rocker, maybe I am a total wack job who over-reacts on everything, and makes up crazy stuff. Cuz that's what I feel like. Finally I got to a place where I had alot of really good friends, and now their gone again.
so im sure thats what you all wanted to read. but oh well.

SO. i went over to rajenta's today, and she whipped out this kick ass scrapbook/notebook thing for kaylee's going away party. its SO cute. seriously it only took her about 20 min to do. and its so cute. so, rajenta is going to help me make my dad a scrap book thing for christmas. goodtimes. i love it.
so my dad calls me today, and he said that rebecca and him are going to see the lion king broadway thing in portland and he wants to know if i want to go with them. hell yes i do! so that will kick ass.

i made banana bread last night. yeah thats right from scratch. its GOOD! and kaylee made funfetti cake. lol. goodtimes. then we read all 101 sex tips from cosmo. they were mostly lame.
the kids that live downstairs/nextdoor are running around the apartments screaming and yelling and throwing things. and im pretty sure i am going to shoot them in the face. okay not really. but they are really loud. and the best part is that the parents yell too. super duper fun.

i bought this REALLY cute rug from big lots today. if i could remember how to post pictures, i would put a picture on here... lol
i told my dad that i would give him my phone cuz he really wants it. so now i have to send all 64 pictures from my phone to my computer so that i can my phone to my dad. funtimes. so thats that.

and now im sitting here with a head ache... not fun.

i hate you i hate you i hate you.
and i hate you.
and i dont want to go back to work... having the week off makes me realise how much i hate work even more. so thats why im going to need to find another job. i should find out at the end of this week if i get part time, and if so which day is part time. I will either get tuesday's or sunday's off. sunday would be the day of choice, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do. so...
i will either work: Sun, Mon, Thu... or Mon, Tue, Thu. GOODTIMES!

who knows...
so i have been in portland more in this last week than i think in the last year. but its cuz my beautiful ellen is here. and kelly aka EM3.

and on that note I HATE parking in portland, and i really really hope i didn't get a parking ticket. i dont like those.
and i want to go home now so that i can eat my REALLY yummy salsa and chips. its pretty much my favorite thing EVER to eat. i had it for breakfast and lunch yesterday.

ellen has the SALTIEST language ever. and its really hurting my ear drums!
im hungry.

SO. my hair was all growing out and the roots and what not, so i thought it would be a good idea to dye it and make it all nice a pretty again.
so i attempted to do this, and my hair turned out darker than what i wanted. so i thought it would be a good idea to put highlights in. AGAIN i was wrong. they turned out orange. so now im putting brown over all it again. the sad part is that i liked it better before i dyed it. but since it was all grown out... BAD IDEA ERIN!

so we will see what happens after this dye. and if my hair falls out.

so i have a 24 pack of keystone and some smirnoff on the table. why cant i like beer? or why cant bitch beer be cheaper? huh huh huh?

so i pretty much have decided i need to not have a job. actually im going to part time at work, and then i think im going to try to find a job where i can just work a couple days a week doing something easy, like a tanning salon, or something like that.
just for a little extra money and a change of pace...

so i have a meeting at work to get part time. hopefully it will go through, it should. i have doctors notes. thats the one thing i like about having medical conditions. lol. not really good, but it works for me. :)

so wow. yeah...
i flew down to new mexico, (which really is like its own county) to get my ellen mellon, and bring her back to OREGON.
long drive, but fun. and yes I want to move to the SHIT capital of the world, in case you weren't sure, thats turlock, CA. it pretty much constantly smells like SHIT. varieties of shit though, cow shit, horse shit... various shit. then there are those random bursts of smell, it smelled like raison bread and yogurt in there for awhile.
so anyway, i got to see chris while we were there which was really fun. i miss that kid... too bad he is always getting in trouble. then we drove to monterey to see my step sister, which was also really fun, i havn't seen her in a a long time, i want to see her more often i really like hanging out with her. and it was good to see my little nieces. :) "is this your first time to america?"

so right now ellen and kaylee are staying here, which is seriously awesome. i pretty much love having them around... and unfortunatly kaylee moves at the end of this month, and ellen is moving up to portland with in this week. although at least portland isn't too far away... unlike bend.

and then there is the good news, michael stanley... GOD is all I can say about that. GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD!sdljfsdjfsmd;flkaskd;skg;lsdlkfla;jsdfljasldf'assdj;f;sacffnmlk;amsklfmasdkfmm;sadmflksadjlsfjsadfjse.jfswerlkrfwe...
im watching the golden girls. man i love it.

and now i am going to go shoot myself in the head...

SO wow. Yeah.

Me being the incredibly goal oriented person i am did not register for any classes for fall term. oh well. i will be gone the first week of class, and then i will be gone for another 3 days in a couple weeks, (CAMPING AGAIN, HELLS YES) so I guess its okay if I dont start.
All sorts of life shit... Trying to figure it out, and was doing okay, AND THEN YOU. Not that I am complaining. But goodness. And at least you could tell me the truth. FINALLY. And i have self control... unlike some of you out there.
My one and only thought right now is, PLEASE dont be a giant FREAK again. Or I really might kill you this time. But my thought is thats not the case this time...

I get my new computer when I get back, HELLS YES! That means I can make LOADS AND LOADS of cd's, because I will actually have a CD burner to go with my cable internet.
Have I mentioned that I will be 21 in 4 months and 24 days? Becuase I will.

AND OMG OMG OMG OMG. I am leaving in less than 24 hours to go get meet my DEAREST MOST WONDERFULLEST BESTEST COOLEST NEATEST SPECIALEST PRETTIEST NICEST friend in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.
In case your not sure, thats ELLEN *** MORTON. Yes my friends my dearest ellen will be back in oregon in 8 days my friends. Please pray that we dont get any tickets, or have a car breakdown or anything like that...

I bruised my hip sleeping last night... lol. I guess thats what I get for cramming 2 people and a dog into a 1 person tent. FYI, I need to get a tent... My feet got GROSSLY dirty last night, and i didnt realise how dirty they were, because i was walking around barefoot cuz I was too out of it to put my tennis shoes back on. So I put them on this morning, and by the time I got home and looked at my feet. lol. gross... im not a dirty person. But i did realise how much i missed camping. I LOVE IT. good thing I get to go again later this month...
So the good news is my dearest ellen is moving back, but the sad news comes right along with it... my baby kaylee, my bed mate, my dinner provider, and love is leaving. only to bend at least, not moving several states away like ELLEN. but still bend is kinda annoying. especially when it snows...

so like oh my god. like time no talk. lol. seriously my computer is WAY broken.. so i have to buy a new one... which is only going to cost me about... 350 bucks. goodstuff.
and mr michael come over last night... nothing happenend. that seriously sad shit.SERIOUSLY WTF?
and i pretty much drank about 3/4 of a bottle of run by myself last night... and in about an hour... so go figure i was DRUNK.

but yeah. it was still fun. and we got to talk and that was awesome. whats not so awesome? he wants to move to prineville. seriously WHO THE HELL WANTS TO MOVE THERE? not cool not cool. NOT COOL.

and now im going to the outback... which i dont really enjoy. so thats that.

and i feeel like shit.
and they only good thing on tv is "the other sister" which makes me cry. but then again i cry at everything... so its not too special.

i want a daniel.

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written.

uh so i am watching my sweet 16, and seriously if i were any of these kids parents i would most definatly kill them.
and i want some new sunglasses.

i hate you kaylee you jerk. no jk I LOVE YOU LOTS

you make my want to rip my heart out and put it in a blender.
because i think i would like that better.

or if someone has some valium they would like to lend me i think that would work too.
any ideas?

um. i shouldt get my hopes up. but seriously. wTF?
your stupid little text message made no sense. and its going to drive me crazy...
so yeah. i hope you choke on a beer.

so i got my splint thing today. the good news is: it makes me jaw feel SOOO MUCH BETTER. the bad news is: that it makes me talk funny, and collects saliva, and when i take it out my jaw actually hurts more. .. so thats not so good.

seriously. its like 101 degrees. WTF? thats not normal. and i really want a pool. or swimming. or something that involves cool water. or anything like that.
and kaylee wants me to go to a movie with her tonight, but i really have no idea what movie we are going to see. and i dont want to see another shitty movie.
and seriously with this whole "eveyone else buying my houses" shit. NOT COOL

okay so there is definatly like 20384932904883 asian men who live in california named david. SERIOUSLY!
um. definatly the funniest thing ever today, so if you dont want to hear about my job. stop reading.
....
um so this guy calls today. he is mad because for the 9348349 time his phone is picking up a signal from canada. well for those of you who dont know, that can happen if you are really close to the border. so this gentleman has been calling since september because this has been happening. well he has spoke with about 6 supervisors that have advised him that NO we are NOT crediting him for that, because we told him how to make his phone stop doing that. so he starts talking to my supervisor who tells him: unfortunatly the FCC will not allow us to put a giant cement wall between canada and the US. the idiot on the phone says "well tmobile should take care of its shit and do something about it." uh huh. we will totally build a wall because you are lazy. but here comes the best part. to top the call off, after we tell him we are not crediting shit. his final comment to my senior rep ." yeah well, your a white punk mother fucker." and it made me laught for the whole day. plus my senior rep is SO white its not funny.

yeah funny. shut it

i hate you. basically have i told you. yeah i should. seriously.
but by hate i mean love and want to hump you.
lol.

is that bad? yeah it is. but good. although it would be better if i were talking to you...
and yeah.
so i get to leave and go to montana in less than 2 weeks. and then a little over a month i get to go to new mexico and see my MELLON!

have i mentioned that i hate people? yeah i do.